This is me...now

This is me...the real me, the me that loves relaxing on a hammock reading a book, the me with no make up on (and the me that is totally fine with that) the me that loves being with her family and close friends... the me that for several moments can forget every worry...can stop second guessing and over thinking every decision i have ever made in life...the me that enjoys laughing at silly things with my sister when everyone else thinks we are completely weird...I LOVE this picture because it reminds me to be the real me more often.

I am writing a post about the real me because as embarrassing as it is to admit...i have somehow managed to lose a little bit of her over the past couple of years. I have woken up and realized i am not where i ever thought i would be at the age of 30. I have also had to come to terms with the fact that although I'm not exactly where i want to be, i am still happy with the way things have gone...i have had sooo much fun, learned so much about myself, and had the chance to live a little more than i ever have before.

I lived my life up until recently with the assumption that if i did everything i was "supposed" to do then i would always end up where i was "supposed" to be. That plan didn't really play out like i thought it would. I did things because it was the right thing to do, because i didn't really know what i wanted to do or who i wanted to be...so i just did what i thought i was supposed to do in hopes i would feel passion for something or someone along the way and figure it out eventually.

Living my life the past couple of years in a total different way then i have ever before...the good and the bad, has made me realize that sometimes you have to lose yourself a little before you can really find yourself.

Realizing what parts of me I have managed to let slip out of my reach and also realizing i really like and need those parts of me has really helped me to piece together the kind of person I feel most comfortable being.

And so...after having started my blog one year ago with totally different intentions (i lived thru turning 30) i now want to take it in a little bit of a different direction. During all of this learning experience and finding slash losing myself i realized how much i enjoy blogging...it makes me feel passion and so i need to continue it. im not sure the exact direction i will take but i do hope to post more on a daily basis about my life...it really helps to keep me grounded and somehow taking pictures of what i do and telling everyone make me stay real to who i am and want to be...so in a way you help me be more like the first picture i posted on here. Stay tuned...