If I can just be honest…
Pregnancy has not been my favorite thing thus far.
I feel guilty for even thinking that thought let alone putting it out there for all to read…but this post is all about being honest (so is my blog) and so I have to tell you a few things.
As long as I can remember there has always been the idea out there that I may never be able to have my own children. I have a heart condition that is hereditary and I have had since birth. Every year we would go to the cardiologist and get a check up and as I got older they seemed to caution more and more that pregnancy was the hardest thing on a women's body and heart, and it may be something my heart and body cannot withstand.
With that being said, when the doctors told me I should be ok getting pregnant I was obviously ecstatic…and a little nervous. My heart seems to be hanging in there…my body, on the other hand, seems to be hating pregnancy!
I am so thankful to have gotten pregnant as fast and easy as we did, I am so thankful that our baby girl seems to be doing great and is healthy…I am so thankful to have an amazing, supportive husband who has been beyond great during this pregnancy…I am so excited to meet our baby and am already so in love with her.
BUT…
I do not like being pregnant. The things I had always heard about aren’t even the things that make me uncomfortable. Like, stretch marks…I could give two shits if I get them. I already have a few on my hips and seem to be getting more lately. My belly seems in the clear right now, but honestly…if I get a few stretch marks on my stomach I am ok with that. Its not like I have string bikinis waiting to be worn again…or belly shirts. My tankini and full length shirts will cover any stretch marks I get and I am ok with that :)
Gingivitis/bleeding gums: WHAT??? I had never heard of this before but apparently it happens while pregnant….and my gums bleed like a stuffed pig every time I brush and especially when I floss, and they are sore. FUN FUN.
My hips and lower back…I walk around like I am 80. It seriously takes me about 30 seconds every time I get up to let my hips stabilize before I start to walk, and even then that first step is super hit or miss whether or not pain will shoot thru my back. Ugg.
Shaving my legs…starting to become a chore. Bending over for that long takes my breath away…things I never thought about…
My cankles…I mean ankles. At barely 24 weeks pregnant my lower legs, ankles and feet have started swelling. I had heard of this in my friends pregnancies, but it seems like they didn't have it until later in pregnancy. It is the worst…and my doctor prescribed me compression stockings (pictures later…maybe) so those should be fun to wear.
The one thing I was really looking forward to with pregnancy was to feel the baby kicking and moving…turns out I have an anterior placenta which means it is in the front and is like a sponge soaking up any movements so that I cannot feel them. I will have to wait until she is much bigger and stronger before I will likely feel any movement…WORST! (whhhaaa, waaaaa, waaaaaaaaaaaaa)
I could keep going but you get the point…
I realize I sound like the biggest debbie downer but these are the things I think about all day so it is what I am going to write about. It has taken me awhile to come to terms that it is ok for me to not like being pregnant. Just because I don’t like it doesn't mean I am not excited about the baby, or love her. I am really trying to embrace it and take it all in…it has just been so much harder than I had expected. I envy those women that think being pregnant is the best thing ever…I wish I felt that way, but I know it will all be worth it in the end.
In just a couple of month we will have a beautiful baby girl and I know every stretch mark, random cry outburst, hip pain, foot swelling…it will all be worth it once I am holding her in my arms:)
A few pictures for your viewing pleasure:
I haven’t taken my 24 week picture yet (but I will)
a few of the little precious outfits I have already bought. I actually haven’t purchased many…probably because I can’t figure out how big she will be and I don’t want to waste money on things that won’t end up fitting her.
Last thing…we got a puppy. Stay tuned for that entire story.
6 months pregnant and a new puppy= CRAZY and EXHAUSTED